3am Pickles
by coffee4106
Summary: The knocking was consistent. As he peered through the peephole he found he was staring down a gun barrel pointed at his head. Who was it, why was he the target?
1. Chapter 1

3am Pickles

**3am Pickles**

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. My son just came and said he wanted a pickle from tickle.. I laughed and instantly thought OHHHHH, this could be funny. I'm going on no sleep so it may not be funny… it is to me though at the moment.. Just a short fluff of Tony and Ziva._

The constant banging on the door woke him from his sweet somber. He turned over and looked at the clock.

"Freakin' 3am. This is not right, someone better be dead." Tony grumbled as he fell out of bed, his feet tangled in the blue sheet. "Crap. I'M COMING." He yelled at the door knocker invading his sleeping time.

He finally unwound his feet, found his way to the door and peered through the peephole. As he tried to focus his sleeping eyes on the gorgeous woman standing outside his door with her back to him, he tried to figure out how she was still knocking on the door. Then she turned, met his gaze and put the barrel of a gun in the peephole viewing.

"OPEN UP TONY." She yelled.

"NO, you have a gun." He cowered behind the door.

"I have a gun aimed at your pea head and could kill you right now, you are leaning against the door Tony." She replied while she kicked the door with her foot.

"Put the gun away Ziva." He reached up to rub the sleep from his eyes still not sure why he was awake.

"Tony, I need you."

That was all it took. Tony flipped around, swung the door open and greeted Ziva with a huge smile on his face. "Really?"

"I can not open the pickle jar." She shoved a large jar of pickles into his chest as she stalked into his apartment.

"Pickles. Its 3am Ziva. What the hell?" He just stood there looking at the pickle jar in his hands.

"I wanted a pickle. I can not get the lid off and Im getting mad."

"Why didn't you just shoot the jar." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Why would I shoot the jar of pickles Tony?" She questioned him.

"You were going to shoot me." He thought he had good enough reasoning.

"You are not a pickle." She answered while turning and placing her gun on the table.

Seeing he was loosing the battle of the pickle, he shook his head and walked toward her. He gripped the lid and the safety button popped up. "Goodnight."

"Want a pickle?" She asked as he was headed back to his bed.

"No, I do not want a pickle. God I sound like freaking Dr. Seuss."

"Who is this doctor Tony?"

"Ziva, the Cat in the Hat, Horton hears a who, you would probably like those books, they talk like YOU." He again rubbed his face.

"I do not think I have read these." She took a bite of a pickle and shook it at him.

"Says Ziva, eating a pickle from the land of tickle." Tony shook his head. He was falling into the trap, he just knew he was. He had to be dreaming. Ziva was not in his living room eating a pickle talking about Dr. Seuss. Why wasn't he in his bed? Why was Ziva here?

"Tony?"

"ZEEvaH?"

"I can not sleep."

"That sucks, because I was sleeping very good till you and the pickle master came to visit." He glanced her way and saw her tired face staring at the floor. "What's wrong Ziva?" He caved and walked towards her.

"I haven't slept the last couple nights. Its like I close my eyes and all I see is… black." She stated.

"That's called peaceful sleep Ziva. No bombs, no noise. Black when you close your eyes is a good thing."

"When I open my eyes, its like I'm in a coffin." She replied.

"You're sleeping at Abby's Ziva. Why didn't you have her open the pickles?" He insisted.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About pickles." He shook his head. Back to the pickles. Move on already DiNozzo.

"Who is this Dr. Seuss, is he a doctor you talk to?" She asked with a puzzled look on her face.

"Ok, here's the plan. I have another couple hours till I have to get up. I'm going back to bed. Here's the remote, see ya at 5am."

Tony headed towards his bedroom and heard the pickle jar lid close. As he curled up under his warm flannel blanket, the side of the bed jiggled a bit. He turned over on his back and saw Ziva sitting there.

"Can I just lay down here Tony? I hate that coffin." She asked.

"Remove your weapons first." He laughed. "All of them."

Ziva laughed and started removing guns and knives. She took her jacket off and kicked her shoes off. Tony smiled when she slid her pants off and crawled beneath the blanket with him.

"So, who is this Dr you see?" Ziva asked as she grabbed at the pillow about to hit her in the head. "Be nice Tony."

"Sleep Ziva. Two more hours then ill explain Dr. Seuss to you."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_This is pure Fluff, Fluff I say… HAHA… its dumb but I was in between chapters for the Mistletoe story and thought OHH.. ahha.. Lets play!! I'm done with the pickles.. NO MORE CHAPTERS!! Tony can't handle it and I don't think my warped brain can either._

"Ziva, you left and took the pickles." Abby pounced as the elevator doors opened.

Tony rubbed his face yet again. "STOP with the PICKLES." He stormed over to his desk and plopped down in the chair. He threw his head down on his desk and didn't move.

"What's his problem?" Abby asked as she and Ziva stared at him.

"I don't think he likes pickles and he needs to talk to a Dr. Seuss yes?" Ziva questioned.

"You don't seem like a Dr. Seuss guy Tony." McGee joined in the conversation.

"Dead Marine in the Latrine." Gibbs said as he rounded the corner and sat a fresh cup of hot coffee next to Tony's head.

"Boss, NOOO not you too," He caught the scent of fresh hot Starbucks coffee and changed his outlook on the day. "Thank you boss."

"Ziva, are the pipes in your apartment fixed yet?" Gibbs asked Ziva as she grabbed her bag.

"They say by tomorrow I am hoping. Although I do enjoy staying at Abby's with her." She quickly changed her attitude when she glanced at Abby's fallen face.

"It has been fun hasn't it Ziva? We should really do that more often." Abby smiled and walked toward the elevator.

"So why were you at Tony's this morning?" Gibbs asked Ziva as she cut her eyes to Tony.

"I wanted a pickle?" She questioned with an evil smile.

Tony grabbed his pack and marched towards Ziva, grabbing her and pushing her towards the elevator while Gibbs laughed at them.

"Stop it Tony, I can hurt you." Ziva warned as he backed her to the back of the elevator.

"Can it with the pickles." Tony glanced around the elevator as the doors shut and caught Gibbs watching them with a smirk on his face.

"Ok, fine, she came over, pulled a gun on me, demanded I open the door and then shoved a jar of pickles in my arms to open for her."

"Ok." Gibbs replied leaving Tony even more frustrated than before. He took a sip of coffee and smiled at Tony.

Tony didn't know how this had started or why they were even continuing this conversation.

"I really need more sleep." Tony moved to his own corner.

"You should try Abby's coffin Tony." McGee added with a smile.

"Maybe I should, seems everyone else has." Tony again glanced around for some sort of acknowledgement.

"I haven't slept in the coffin." Gibbs answered as the doors dinged open.

"Why are you smiling ZeeVah?" Tony asked as he followed Ziva out the doors.

"You really should try a pickle Tony, it might put you in a better mood." She turned around directly in front of him and stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Ziva?"

"Yes Tony?"

"Have you heard of Green Eggs and Ham?"

"No, that sounds disgusting Tony."

"Exactly Ziva."

"DiNozzo, David, Lets go." Gibbs yelled from the NCIS van driver's seat.

"What do you mean Tony? Do you really need to talk to the Dr.?"

"He's an Author Ziva. Dr. Seuss is an author."

"Oh, like McGee?"

"Yes, No… uh…. Yes. Get in the van Ziva."

"But…" Ziva was interrupted by Tony's finger across her lips.

"No more, Please no more."

Gibbs was laughing as he looked over at the two sitting beside him and he got an evil idea. "Hey Tony, want a pickle?" He said with a chuckle.


End file.
